*snap*

That is the noise that something--which runs from 1.5 inches below the lowest point of my left shoulder, across my spine, up the right side of neck and threads through my earlobe--made a few hours ago. Physiologists, please don't bother telling me that there is no such tendon, ligament, or nerve. I felt and heard it. Something snapped.

Maybe you've already listen to me complain about, but I'm under some stress right now, and I don't really have any remedies for it, since working out stopped killing my stress back in high school. I had an opportunity to go shooting a few weeks back, and I'm starting to wonder if I should have taken Josh up on his offer. There is something inately relaxing about holding a very big gun, point, and click, and boom, and something is now powder. I find it...empowering. (Sorry, I don't have any better jokes tonight.)

So, I'm saying to hell with it all. I'm already going on a few trips this fall, but I am way too stressed out. As I was washing my face to go to bed, I stopped and really looked at myself. And I realized something. Somewhere in the past two years, I really got old-looking. It's one thing when people tell you you look older than you do, but when you're objectively analyzing yourself, and realize that without makeup, you look 35+, it's pretty disheartening. For the record, I am 22.

I'm too on-edge, and I need a break. So I think that I am going to just deal with being poor and broke for the fall, cut out all of my extras, and take a small vacation where I don't have to deal with anyone. Preferably, I would go somewhere where no one spoke English, so that no one has a chance of saying anything to me to push me any further, but I don't like LA, and I don't have a passport, so I'll have to settle for 'accidentally' leaving my phone at home.

But seriously, I am determined to take a real vacation, with no point or purpose other than relaxation. I honestly think I need it at this point, before something else snaps...like the necks of (edited so as not be considered pre-meditation).

As for the anger sermon that I never got around to posting, I thought about it, and realized that it is part of a larger group of meditations I've been meaning to write. Don't worry, they'll be pre-fixed in the title as something obvious so that those who don't want to won't even be exposed to it. I'm even planning on looking up the Bible verses that I'll be referencing, and citing them more specifically than "somewhere in Matthew".

Until then, faithful (I'm pretending you find me interesting, instead of just slightly less boring than work) (also, another pun. Hah!) readers, good night, and may your sheets be cool and comfortable, and may you never wake with half a spider of your face.