Salutable Shorts - Cancelled

Apparently, it was not meant to be. Thank you anyway.

Salutable Shorts

As of 7:30 am, the entrants are:

Stormy Westside

Bethany Peters

Aleksandr Kretic

Will two more brave souls join their ranks? Will the contest be saved? Stay tuned to find out!

My Road Trip

So, this here's my currently planned trip back to New York for next month.

View Eastward, ho! in a larger map

If I'm driving by your neck of the woods and you'd like me stop, let me know!

Red Rock Search

I went out to Red Rock Canyon (well, technically, east of Red Rock Canyon) today as part of a search for a hiker who has been missing for almost three weeks. We didn't find him, or any trace, really, but we did find a few other things. A backpack stuffed with a mental patient's paperwork (seriously), lots of broken beer bottles, a pallet of telephone books (some of which had been set on fire), and this endorsement from an obviously satisfied customer:

Obviously, I didn't get a chance to take a picture of everything I saw out there. I was actually looking for a missing hiker. That we didn't find. So, to avoid being a complete downer, here are pictures of some of the spectacular sunsets we've had lately...

Vote for ME for DICTATOR OF THE WORLD!!!

(I promise to be benevolent. Mostly.)

Here are all of this year's campaign promises. Please remember to vote for me for dictator of the world in your upcoming civic election.

My first act, if elected dictator of the world, will be to remove school zones and crossing guards around all middle and high schools. While it is indeed a tragedy when a dumbass 13-year-old gets run the hell over because his eyes are glued to the screen of an electronic gadget that cost more than half of my friends' cars, the true tragedy is that he may one day breed more dumbass children.

My second act, if elected as dictator of the world, will be to eliminate all maximum speed limits, institute minimum speed limits, and quadruple the penalties for reckless driving.

My third act, when elected dictator of the world, will be to ban any and all forms of reality television. News programs will be allowed to apply for an exception permit.

My fourth act, for when I'm elected dictator of the world, will be to get rid of airport security people and just issue all stewardesses a shotgun.

Since I'm busy with the SOTU drinking game, today's campaign promise is a platform that I've been standing on for years and will not flip flop on: I promise penal reform, in the form of heads on sticks.

My (whichever, I think I'm up to five) act as dictator of the world will be to outlaw oversensitivity, and require all those who are offended by words to be publicly beaten with a live lobster - to thicken their skin.

Today's campaign promise involves children. I vow, that as dictator, all parents who do not remove screaming/crying children from public places that have a reasonable expectation of adult behavior (churches, theaters, restaurants that aren't Chuck E. Cheese, etc) will be forced to surrender their children to CPS.

I almost forgot a campaign promise for today! I guess today's promise is to decriminalize assisted suicide. And marijuana, too. They both get a bad rap.

And for your special bonus campaign promise: I promise to legalize dueling, so that the idiots who want to shoot each other can voluntarily be removed from the gene pool.

That's all until the next time this perpetual campaign pisses me off. Thank you and remember to vote for me as dictator of the world!