It's official.

It has been confirmed:

When I speak Lithuanian, I have an American accent.

I am thankful for:

I have acquired an espresso machine. The world should consider itself warned.

Also, I got to carve the turkey this year. They gave me a knife that plugs into the wall.

Today, the Best Week Ever begins.

My closet is too small, part II

So, I finally got un-lazy enough to take some more pictures. Whee, drills, whee!

The first time I put this shelf up, it was beautiful. I put all my clothes up, and just... admired it. Then I ran downstairs to grab one more pair of jeans (I am dead serious...this is not made up at all.), hung them up, and sat down to do some homework. Three minutes later, it collapsed. I found parts of the screws, still in the wall. The force of the fall actually broke them. So I went and got some longer screws...and put it back up, two inches higher. I found the other parts of the screws when I was hanging everything back up.

My desk, unmoved.

My bookshelf, with a pretty picture of butterflies, given to me by a pretty smart 6-year-old. I've had my name misspelled a lot of different ways, but if you think about it, "A6le" makes a lot of sense.

My closet is too small.

So I turned my office into a closet.

Here are some pictures of how my office looked before I got out my drill.

Notice that the bookshelf is full. So, no matter how much I obsess about my clothing, you can see which bit of unpacking was more important to me.

Klutz

I fell down the stairs (again) last night. I'm walking, with no limp, just some pain, today. I was just thinking that it's a really good thing that I'm pretty sturdy, and that I heal pretty fast when I do get hurt.

Then I realized that this won't last forever, and I'll probably break my hip before I hit 40.

Just for you...

Dear Rose and Rebecca,

http://www.inkworks.com/offers.html

Love,
Me

Now that I have free time, I'm thinking about doing the November novel writing thing...any words of wisdom/horror/Jack Sparrow?

I did! I did!

So, I think I might drop out of grad school and quit the teaching program.

In lieu of thought

I could write some snide political commentary. I could describe my new apartment, my job, or how much grad school sucks. I could post pictures of the bedroom I turned into a closet. Or I could just take a few random personality tests and post them.


You're Not a Hipster!
Take What sort of Hipster are you? today!
Created with Rum and Monkey's Personality Test Generator.

You're actually not much of a Hipster. Congratulations! You may have Hipster style, but you're healthy, you eat right, you have a decent job you enjoy, your finances are stable, you plan on buying a house (if you don't already own one) and settling down before you're 35, you have friends you like, your friends like you, and you can honestly say you're pretty damn happy. Perhaps you should adopt a Hipster and draw them into your perfect lair . . .

What kind of pirate am I? You decide!
You can also view a breakdown of results or put one of these on your own page!
Brought to you by Rum and Monkey

Which Survivor of the Impending Nuclear Apocalypse Are You?
A Rum and Monkey joint.


Are You Damned?
Brought to you by Rum and Monkey

I am a bad, bad person.

Friday night, I checked out the medal count for the Olympics. (http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/olympics/2008/medals/tracker/) As I was looking through the entire list, instead of just the top 3, I noticed that Kenya wasn't anywhere on it.

I said, to myself, "Huh. Must not have been any running events yet."

Out of curiosity, I checked the schedule. The pre-lims had started Thursday night.

Mathematical Nonsense

I have realized that I think about math maybe more than the average person. This realization came this morning, as I was pedaling up a hill, and thought, Whew! There's the inflection point!

By way of backstory, my new job, which I adore, is in BOULDER CITY. A quiet, happy little town, that happens to be 39.9 miles from where I currently live. Add to this: the night before I was offered this job, I blew out the head gasket in my car. I took the job anyway, because I am a chemist, I am, and being an employed chemist is even better.

I tried driving my grandfather's truck. But there are three problems. One, I hate driving his truck. Two, the truck sucks gas faster than I suck whiskey. Three, it likes to overheat if I drive above 45 miles per hour for very long.

I could live with not enjoying the drive. But when there is a very convenient state highway that runs from my house to my place of employment, it is rather frustrating to drive through surface street traffic so the engine doesn't catch on fire and kill you. While the truck sucks more gas because stop and go traffic is a bitch like that.

It's number two, really, that kills me. On a good day, the truck eats about 6 gallons of gas for the commute. And I am dirt cheap. The solution: take the bus. The hitch: the closest bus stop to my house is 3.6 miles away. At 3:00am, that's a little long. So I ride my bike instead, because it's mostly downhill, and the only hill is going over the convenient state highway. Where I sighed in relief for the inflection point today.

This will all be obsolete angst soon, though. I found an adorable apartment yesterday, and I move in Saturday! No more estimating inflection points, but I swear I could feel it.

In honor of my New Job

I was subjected to Training Videos today. Since I know you all wish you could have been right there with me, I found a way for me to be with you in spirit the next you begin a new job with assorted Training Videos of your own. Simply print this handy game piece on card stock, grab your favorite bingo marker and hat, and if you're still employed when the lights come back on, you win!

Check!

I finished migrating my more recent journal's posts. One more to go, plus the stuff I posted on Myspace.

...That might be a while in coming. My grown-up job starts Monday, and I am taking the Praxis II on Saturday. And I am attending a Less Than Jake Concert Thursday night.

About my grown-up job: It's nice to finally have a job that requires my degree. But it's in Boulder City. Which means I get to waken nice and early to drive out there every day. Whee!

But I'm a professional chemist now!!

One more thing...I was trying to come up with links for the sidebar, but all I could think of was Rum and Monkey. Any ideas?

Holy Updates, Batman!

In the next few weeks, when I am not writing/working/knitting I will be migrating my more interest posts from my various and sundry journals to here. So...they're coming!

Introduction

My new blog, because I am slowly falling out of love with Livejournal. I'll be figuring this out at some point.

BVM: What Dreams May Come

Book Vs. Movie: What Dreams May Come

The somewhat anticipated review has arrived. Sorry it has been much delayed, but in all the running around to get things settled for grad school, and then going to work, ya'll end up coming in second place. Sorry, but this doesn't involve a paycheck. Or a worthless piece of paper.

Back to the business at hand: WDMC.

I originally saw this in high school, because Cuba Gooding Jr. is one of my favorite actors. And the previews were enticing. I didn't know it was a book until recently.

Rundown on the book: Authored by Richard Matheson (of I am Legend notoriety...I actually found out he wrote WDMC when I was looking for a copy of IAL). I found it, with Somewhere in Time, published in a single volume. Matheson's forward included something to the effect that these two novels were his best and favorite works. Also included was that WDMC is not a work of fiction. More about that later.

Rundown on the movie: Robin Williams, Cuba Gooding Jr., Annabella Sciorra. I fell in love with this movie, partially because of my trip to Shakespeare Camp (don't laugh, I learned a lot). One of the lectures was from a costumer, and she talked a lot about the use of color in costuming to denote relationships and thus further the almighty plot. The movie does this a lot, but not just with costumes...

Matheson's book contained a 5 page source list. As any first grade teacher will tell you, the best way to educate is to entertain. He did copious research, and "solved" the afterlife mystery. Then he came up with a few characters, and told their story in this world as a means of exploring the world.

Side note: I used to be one of those bibliophiles that would read a book thoroughly, and then complain bitterly about any single change that a director made (or inclusion, or exclusion). I grew out of that nonsense. Especially when I see a movie that is amazing and then read the book that isn't as good. Shawshank Redemption might have turned the trick.

Stirke 1: The protagonist is a writer. It's one of my pet peeves. A writer's life is only interesting because they make them interesting (Or because they have severe mental illness). In the movie, he's a doctor instead. He's a well-known pediatrician, possibly specializing in neurology. I'm not sure, because he dies before you find out much detail. His children died 4 years previous causing his wife (Annie) to attempt suicide, he pulls her through it, and then gets offed while doing her a favor on an important day for them.

None of this happened in the book. He just died. Annie had some unspecified trauma and resulting mental illness, but there were more children in the book, and none of them died.

Strike 2: Annie's mental illness just isn't believable in the book. It's tweaked and twisted in the movie and Annabella Sciorra plays it very well. Plus, a spiral is established: her children die, Chris pulls her back; Chris dies, there isn't anyone to keep her from going over the brink.

Also, in the book, there is a lot of mention of soulmates, and loving each other, but it isn't really demonstrated.

Strike 3: Annie's character is really weak. I wasn't going to make it a strike until I realized that it really did bother me. She's boring in the book. You wonder why in the hell the guy's in love with her. It's very clear in the movie. She has a strong personality, fights with her husband, and they obviously adore each other.

It might not be an objective opinion, but I really prefer the movie. Here's why:

Reading the book, it's clear that the story is secondary to Matheson. His real concern is mapping out the world his research showed him. At some point, he became terribly interested in the afterlife. He fanatically researched it, and developed a theory. The story was just a way to publish his work.

This is what the director/producer/screenwriter did: They kept his world... and completely rewrote his characters and the storyline. The characters are much more likeable. The story is more coherent. There is some backstory in relevant places.

Visually, it's stunning. The effects are amazing. And the use of color! There is red whenever life/love are important elements, and blue whenever grief/death/loss are important. You might think I'm over reading it, but watch. If you are open to symbolism, the movie is a feast. Even if you aren't, it's amazingly delightful.

The score is also well-done. You don't particularly notice it, because it adds to the movie so skillfully, evoking the appropriate emotions.

Since this is already too long, the last thing I'll add is that one of the DVD extras is the original ending from the book. It's a rough cut, but an appropriate choice, because the end used was far more moving.

2 Jokes

1) Q: How are grapes like a man?

A: If you stomp on them and keep them in the dark for years, they eventually turn into something you'd like to have dinner with.

2) Q: What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?

A: Nothing she hasn't already been told twice.

So while the guitar riff from "99 Red Balloons" stopped playing in my head last night, these two jokes popped into my head. One about verbal abuse and one about physical abuse. One with a man as the abuser, one with a woman.

I'm about to go off to my thrill-a-minute job, and this is probably what will be on my mind today.

Is either joke worse than the other? If so, what makes it worse? And most importantly...why are they funny?

Also, I swear the What Dreams May Come review is coming. It's just not very good yet.

Irritation

Ugly bridesmaid dresses.

In recent Aynsley-has-way-too-much-free-time news. I have decided to begin comparing book-and-movie pairs. At the request of my 12-year-old cousin, I will not be comparing any comic book movies, because (according to him), I am too obsessive. I beg to differ.

This week: I Am Legend

I just recently read the book. I'm not sure how to compare book versus movie because they are not just different types of media, they are different stories. The book is sci-fi, the movie is just a scary movie. The characters, the motivation, even the plot, they are all different.

Since I can't really compare them on any tangible points, I vote for the book, as the movie scared the crap out of me and gave me nightmares. Comment as to your opinions of my cowardice below. I don't think that sentence even made sense. You can also agree with me. Hell, you can even disagree with me, but I don't know why anyone would.

So there really isn't a point to this. Except to set up for the post next week, which is What Dreams May Come, coincidentally by the same author.

Book: 19 Minutes

I am disturbed. This book bothered me, on multiple levels, which is why my clock just passed 3 a.m. and instead of sleeping like a normal person, I'm writing about it on the internet. Go figure. It's not that it gave me nightmares...yet...it just bothered me enough that I cannot go to to sleep.

When the book came out, I got an email from Borders, and the first chapter. So I read it, and it sounded like an interesting set up. (School shooting, one of the victims is a judge's daughter) Since it was at the library, I grabbed it. I do not recommend doing the same.

I'm not precisely sure what the author normally writes, but I'm going to give it a shot in the dark and guess romance. The plot inconsistencies crop up regularly, and the descriptions of the lead female's sexual encounters with her physically and emotionally abusive boyfriend litter the pages like pine needles litter our yard. And they are both juniors in high school. Her mom has a contrived romantic interest pop up about 2/3 through the book, which is hardly believable.

Also, at the end of this book, no one is happy. Not one single person in the book gets to be truly happy again. it reminds me of the 'classic' children's movie, The Pagemaster, when the book that represents horror wants to go to the fantasy section because there are happy endings. I think he said, "horror always has sad endings." I would look up what the exact quote is, but my calm has been mangled.

This got me thinking off in another direction (it takes a completely un-derailable train of thought to keep me up until three in the morning) - I have always really loved fantasy, but science fiction I can take or leave. I have read a few of Heinlein's books; but I've never actually made it through anything by Orson Scott Card, I don't like Star Wars, Star Trek, or even Star Search, and I have never watched an episode Battlestar Galactica. I've always thought that maybe sci-fi was just too weird for me, but I have recently decided that it has more to do with the characters.

I think fantasy authors might tend to like their characters more than the sci-fi authors. I really don't have a defense for that, it's just a feeling I had. It might be because when I watched Stardust, the charcters were vivid and moving; when I read it, it wasn't particularly inspiring, and I thought the ending was not particularly happy.

Anyway, I think this author hated her characters. She would write one as sympathetic for a while, then reveal something to make you lose all sympathy. She obviously wasn't well-liked in school, and this book reads like an embittered account of what she wished teenagers thought and acted like.

So, in summary, don't read it. I have just decided to begin doing a book vs. movie comparison for Stardust...the only pitfall being that I'll have to read it again.

Murderflower

After going to God knows how much effort to get my morning glories to grow...I have been challenged again. This time, by Murderplant.

Murderplant is the name I have given to the plants that have sprung up in my planters. It does not resemble anything I planted, but this did not bother me originally, because it was leafy and green, and I'm a sucker for that. Then the Murderplants began killing my morning glories.

Murderplants grow, innocent-seeming, and then shoot out tendrils. These tendrils are not for climbing because I have tried and failed to get them to twine around the wrought iron railing. They refuse. However, as soon as they encounter another plant (specifically, my morning glories) their tendrils curl quickly around it (*for a plant) and strangle off the stem they are encircling.

Damn Murderplants. I really don't know how to make them peaceful.

Also, I saw the absolute sweetest thing today at the library. Remember, in Las Vegas, the parking lots are much bigger than they are back east. It takes me more than a full minute to get to my car fram the front doors at a brisk walk. It's actually two minutes at the leisurely walk which was my pace this morning. So I had plenty of time to watch an elderly couple that had parked in the bark row, a few cars away from me.

They both had completely white hair (from what I could tell of the man's; he was wearing a baseball cap), and they both had to be at least 80. The man was walking with the aid of a cane and holding the woman's hand. When they got close to their car, she dropped his hand, but he continued to walk around to the passenger side (which was the longer walk) and then opened the door for the woman, before walking back around to driver's side.

Calling all men

For most of my scholastic life, I learned about geometry and algebra in the Cartesian plane. Imagine the shock I felt, when I attended a philosophy of math lecture, and found out that two straight lines can intersect in two places! You simply have to draw two lines in a non-Cartesian plane (they do exist), and voila!

Keeping this in mind, I am open to learning about new systems of logic, and would appreciate the opportunity to learn male logic. I have composed the following hypothetical scenario for any initiate in male logic to use as an example when explaining this exciting new system.

Male (A) has (length unspecified) romantic relationship with female (A). Female has routine use of cocaine (which she steadfastly maintains is not an addiction) and serious fidelity issues. Male (A) ends relationship with female (A) over these problems.

Several months pass. Male (A) meets and initiates a romantic relationship with female (B). Three weeks later, female (A), at an unspecified bar in an unspecified beach town in California, becomes extremely intoxicated, uses several recreational drugs, and participates in an activity she immediately regrets. Crying hysterically, female (A) calls male (A) and begs him to take her back. Male (A) terminates romantic relationship with female (B), citing that female (A) needs him.

Male (A) requests that a platonic, friendly relationship continue betwixt female (B) and himself. Female (B) refuses, wanting to distance herself from the situation. Male (A) becomes extremely angry.

I get everything until the last paragraph. Honestly, I don’t understand all of the logic behind the events in the latter half of the second paragraph, but I understand that this does occur. Could someone explain the logic of this scenario?

Underpants Update.

They were indeed quite lucky.

Aside from a few personal events, which I am not going to publicly announce, but suffice it to say I was quite tickled before my classes even started.

I went to find out why I hadn’t received my diploma yet. Turns out, due to clerical error, I didn’t graduate. The graduation office grunt was actually courteous (which never happens) and helpful, and solved the problem within 15 minutes. So, I graduated Monday.

In Instrumental Analysis, which seems to get out late more often than on time, the professor looked at his schedule and realized we were a full lecture ahead of schedule. So we actually got out a few minutes early. And then my math class was canceled.

Other fun little things, like the book I wanted actually being in the library, kept happening until lab. Nathing can make that lab any better, again due to reasons I am staying mum on.

Anyway, I had an instrumental test today, and a P-chem test yesterday, and my anxiety hasn’t settled yet. Possibly because I didn’t wear my lucky underpants, but I just didn’t think it would be fair to my classmates. And repeats are gross.

So, in summation, my underpants luck charge did not dissipate from boing rolled inside snakeskin print fabric for two years. In case you ever need to know about expiration dates. Or luck. Or my knickers. I don’t know. Why are you even reading this?

Lucky Underpants

Last night, whilst sorting out some fabric, (I was looking for a very specific shade of green...and you can guess how many yards of green fabric I have. Don’t judge me.) I found my lucky underpants. They have been missing since I moved from NY, and I found out why. In my delightfully organized packing style, anything made of cloth gotthrown together. When unpacking my fabric, I found tons of shirts, but I didn’t shake everything out really well.

But I should have.

While pulling down every piece of fabric I own from the top shelf in my closet, one of the larger bolts, which had been intended for curtains, hit me on the head and unrolled on its path to the floor. And what should I find but my lucky undies! There they were, sitting there in all their serendipitous glory, no worse for the (lack of) wear.

I was unsure as to whether on not these miraculous knickers had lost their power, so I am currently testing them. Traffic was horrible, but that has nothing to do with luck, traffic is always bad in the morning in Las Vegas. I got a good burn on someone within minutes of being on campus, so it is entirely possible that they are still lucky. The real test will come tonight, during the UV-Vis lab. If the data comes out smooth and the instrument doesn’t break (and if we finish before 10pm), I will call it a win. Updates to come.

Political Entertainment

I maintain that the only way the Rev. Wright and racial tension scandal could get any funnier is if one of John McCain’s advisors turned out to be a member of the Ku Klux Klan. And videos of him/her making racist speeches without the hood were somehow made public. I would love to see the contrast. John McCain doesn’t really seem to be saying much of anything about the good reverend’s comments, which again, I would love to see how Cli-bama would react to a racist advisor on the other side of the fence.

Also, Chelsea Clinton, I have lost respect for you.

When the Lewinsky scandal broke, I was 13, and I remember feeling sorry for Chelsea. It’s bad enough to find out that your dad is a philandering douchebag, but how awful is it when it’s national news? And the worst part? It’s with someone a few years older than you. How much therapy would you need to put that behind you normally...multiplied by national coverage....

Anyway, someone asked if she felt that her mother’s comment that Bill was being attacked by "the vast right-wing conspiracy" during the Lewinsky scandal had damaged Hilary’s reputation, she blasted them with, "Wow, you’re the first person actually that’s ever asked me that question in the, I don’t know maybe, 70 college campuses I’ve now been to, and I do not think that is any of your business."

Actually, it is our business, Chelsea. If you’d been asked about the emotional climate at the dinner table that evening, yeah, that’s private.

You weren’t. If the right wing conspiracy was so vast, and such a conspiracy...how did Clinton get elected in the first place? Or the second place? And yes, the House drug your father’s name through the mud, but it was your father’s infidelity, and lack of discretion that led to the situation. The Republiccan representatives that cried out for impeachment on perjury charges? Their conservative constituents were shocked and offended by the President’s behavior. They were being good representatives, and following the wishes of the people who elected them.

You were asked about your mother’s blame shifting tactics. Rather than face the question, she lashed out at the easiest target, a "conspiracy". I have publicly stated that if there is a right-wing conspiracy, I would love to join it, but so far, I haven’t received any membership pamphlets.

An appropriate response from you would have been that your mother was frustated by the constant attacks on your father, and that she did not want to believe her husband had been unfaithful. Even though that is probably a lie. Anyway, you should have continued on with, "The entire ordeal was very taxing on my mother, and from her mistake, she learned to more carefully analyze a situation before casting blame on anyone."

It’s that simple.

Physics ruined my life.

This afternoon, while driving, I actually wondered what the index of refraction for forehead oil was.

Stuff and nonsense

Lucy made my day yesterday by giving me a pen that wrote well.

I didn't have to go to lab tonight, so I was already going to go home early, and then my math class was cancelled. Whee!

On the way home, I was passed on the freeway by a black Camaro with the vanity plate, 'MULLET.' I rest my case. Also, I am not making this up.

The List

Having not written in a while, I thought I would expound upon one of my latest projects, a list of things that I find to be a little weird:

1) Warm toilet seats in public places.

2) Warm seats in public places.

3) Crimped-up toilet paper.

4) Waiting in the passenger seat while the driver gets gas.

5) Being on hold.

6) IMing someone who may or may not be at the computer.

7) Being on your way out when someone shows up.

8) People who watch you at the gym.

9) to be continued...

My GOD. In HEAVEN.

Is it wrong to pray that someone will suffocate on their pillow at night?

There is a website with a message board, for my biochemistry class. My class has our first test on Tuesday. I posted a message for a study group, and after a time/location was agreed on, I posted the time/location. The very next reply was from a girl acking me where the study group would be.

It didn't happen, by the way. The guy who was, for sure, meeting me, just became a father, a week early. I think I can understand forgetting in his case.

So we set up another meeting. For today. I left another message on the board, saying to email me if you were interested. The same dumb shit left a message, with her email address, saying she was definitely interested, and please email her as soon as we know where!

Don't get me wrong, but if someone's reading comprehension does not even rival my 6-year-old cousin's, what exactly do they have to contribute to a study group?

I really wanted to tell her we were meeting at the bottom of Lake Mead.

Dear Al Sharpton,

You're an idiot.

Kisses!
Aynsley

http://www.cnn.com/2008/US/01/10/tilghman.woods/index.html